The Breakup Survival Manual

Fifteen printable pages of cosmic breakup protocol from the crew who spend their lives surrounded by other people's discarded junk.

The whole ExSpaceTrash crew in survival mode on their asteroid — all eight of them with cocoa, blankets, a first-aid kit and the big guidebook by lantern light

What’s inside

15 printable pages of post-breakup field protocol, administered by the crew
The Re-Entry Checklist — first 72 hours, handled in order
The closure letter you write and don’t send
Red Flags You Explained Away — a guided retrospective
The 2:17 AM Rule, and what to do instead of that text

$4.99Add it to any certificate order at checkout — it lands in your inbox as an instant PDF download, in US Letter and A4.

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Need something gentler? Grab the crew’s Coloring Packet instead →

The Breakup Survival Manual is a checkout add-on and a humour publication. It is not medical, psychological, legal or crisis advice — if you are struggling, please talk to a professional or someone you trust. Instant PDF download — nothing is posted.