Terms, Disclaimers & Data Credits

Last updated: September 18, 2026

1. What This Is (Novelty Disclaimer)

ExSpaceTrash.com is a novelty and entertainment product. Purchasing a "claim" on a piece of space debris does not grant, transfer, or imply any real legal, property, territorial, or naming right over any object in Earth orbit or elsewhere. No government, space agency, or international body recognizes private claims to objects in space, and nothing on this site is an attempt to establish one.

What you're actually buying is a public, permanent pairing — in our own registry, and on a shareable digital "certificate" image — of a real, publicly tracked catalog object with a name and message of your choosing, for entertainment purposes only.

2. No Affiliation or Endorsement

ExSpaceTrash.com is an independently operated novelty website. It is not affiliated with, sponsored by, or endorsed by NASA, NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command), the United States Space Force, United States Space Command, or CelesTrak. References to these organizations, or to "NORAD ID" catalog numbers, describe publicly available tracking terminology and data — they do not imply any relationship with or approval from these organizations.

3. Orbital Data & Attribution

Debris and orbital object data displayed on this site is sourced from CelesTrak, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization that makes publicly available orbital tracking data accessible to the public. We're grateful for CelesTrak's work keeping this data open and free.

Orbital data is provided "as is," may not be perfectly current, and should never be used for real-world operational, navigational, or collision-avoidance purposes. If you need that kind of data for an actual operational purpose, go to celestrak.org directly, not us.

4. Purchases & Refunds

All purchases are for a digital, novelty registry entry and are final once your claim is confirmed and added to the public registry, except where required by law or in cases of a duplicate charge or a verified technical error on our part. If something went wrong with your order, contact us at slapmyarsehag@gmail.com and we'll make it right.

4a. Physical (Mailed) Certificates

If you add a printed certificate to your order, you are buying a physical novelty item in addition to the digital registry entry.

Where we ship. We post certificates within the United States and to a range of international destinations. The mailing address you enter at checkout is collected and validated by our payment processor (Stripe) and is used solely to post your order; we do not store it in our own database.
Two printed tiers. A printed certificate posted within the United States is $19.99 total. A printed certificate posted internationally is $29.99 total. These are the full amount you pay for the order — they already include the digital certificate, so you are not adding a fee on top of the digital price. The difference between the two reflects the considerably higher cost of overseas postage. If you select the US tier but enter a non-US address, we will contact you before shipping.
Customs and import charges. International orders may be subject to import duties, taxes, or customs handling fees levied by the destination country. Those charges are your responsibility and are not included in the mailing fee or refundable by us.
When we ship. Printed copies are posted within 5 business days of purchase. Delivery times after posting are outside our control — international delivery in particular can take several weeks, and may be delayed by customs in the destination country.
If it doesn't arrive, or arrives damaged. Contact us at slapmyarsehag@gmail.com within 30 days of purchase. If a physical certificate is lost, damaged, or never arrives, we will reprint and resend it, or refund the mailing fee — your choice.
Refunds on physical items. Because each certificate is printed to order with personalised content, we can't accept returns for a change of mind once the item has been printed. This does not affect your statutory rights, and it does not limit your right to a remedy if the item never arrives or arrives damaged.
Mailing fee. The mailing fee covers printing, packaging, and postage. If you request a refund of your entire order, the mailing fee is refunded only where the item was not shipped, or where we failed to deliver it.

4b. The Sticker Pack

Every order — digital-only and printed alike — includes a downloadable ExSpaceTrash sticker pack at no extra cost. It is a digital bonus, not a physical item we ship: you receive print-ready PDF sheets and transparent PNG files, and you print them yourself if you want physical stickers.

It doesn't change the price. The sticker pack is included in every tier. It is not a charge, not an upgrade, and not a condition of your order, and it does not increase what you pay.
Your licence. The sticker pack is for your own personal, non-commercial use. You may print it for yourself or give prints to friends. You may not resell it, redistribute it as a product or bundle, or present the artwork as your own.
Print results are up to your setup. We supply the files at print resolution with cut guides. How they come out depends on your own printer, paper, and settings, which we can't control or guarantee.
If the files won't open. Contact us at slapmyarsehag@gmail.com and we'll help you get them, or send them another way.
Availability. Because it is a free extra rather than something you paid for, we may change or withdraw the sticker pack at any time. That does not affect the rest of your order and does not create a right to a refund or a price reduction.

4c. The Coloring Packet (paid add-on)

The printable coloring packet is an optional paid add-on costing $3.99, offered at checkout. It is a digital download — 12 coloring pages supplied as print-ready PDFs in both US Letter and A4. Nothing is posted to you, and buying it does not change, delay, or add postage to any printed certificate you may also have ordered.

It is optional and priced separately. The $3.99 is charged in addition to the certificate. It is not included with any tier, and not buying it does not affect the rest of your order.
Your licence. The coloring packet is for your own personal, non-commercial use. You may print it as many times as you like for yourself, your household, or a classroom you teach. You may not resell it, redistribute it as a product or bundle, or present the artwork as your own.
Print results are up to your setup. We supply the files at print resolution. How they come out depends on your own printer, paper, and settings, which we can't control or guarantee. Printing in greyscale or in colour both work.
Download access. Your download link is tied to your purchase and is available from your order confirmation page. If you lose it, contact us at slapmyarsehag@gmail.com with your receipt and we'll help you get the files again.
Refunds. Because this is a digital download delivered immediately on purchase, it is not refundable once you have accessed the files, except where the files are faulty or won't open — in which case we'll fix the problem or refund you.

4d. The Breakup Survival Manual (paid add-on)

The Ex-SpaceTrash Breakup Survival Manual is an optional paid add-on costing $4.99, offered at checkout. It is a digital download — 15 print-ready pages supplied as PDFs in both US Letter and A4. Nothing is posted to you, and buying it does not change, delay, or add postage to any printed certificate you may also have ordered.

It is optional and priced separately. The $4.99 is charged in addition to the certificate and in addition to the coloring packet if you also choose that. It is not included with any tier, and not buying it does not affect the rest of your order.
What it is. A humour publication. It is a set of printable pages — a re-entry checklist, a closure letter you are not meant to send, a list of red flags, a 2:17 AM rule, and similar — written as jokes about getting over a breakup. It is not medical, psychological, legal, or crisis advice, and it is not a substitute for any of those. If you are in crisis, please contact a qualified professional or a local emergency service rather than relying on a novelty coloring book.
Your licence. The manual is for your own personal, non-commercial use. You may print it as many times as you like for yourself or your household. You may not resell it, redistribute it as a product or bundle, or present the writing or artwork as your own.
Print results are up to your setup. We supply the files at print resolution. How they come out depends on your own printer, paper, and settings, which we can't control or guarantee. Printing in greyscale or in colour both work.
Download access. Your download link is tied to your purchase and is available from your order confirmation page. If you lose it, contact us at slapmyarsehag@gmail.com with your receipt and we'll help you get the files again.
Refunds. Because this is a digital download delivered immediately on purchase, it is not refundable once you have accessed the files, except where the files are faulty or won't open — in which case we'll fix the problem or refund you.

5. What You Submit

You're solely responsible for the name, alias, and custom message you submit. By submitting content, you confirm it does not contain: illegal content, true threats, targeted harassment beyond lighthearted novelty use, someone else's private/sensitive information they haven't consented to sharing (like an address or phone number), or content that violates someone else's legal rights.

We reserve the right to remove or redact any submitted entry from the public registry at our discretion — including at the request of a named individual — without an obligation to issue a refund, though we'll consider good-faith refund requests.

6. Privacy

We use Stripe to process payments; we never see or store your full card details. If you sign in with Google, that's used only to associate your session with an email for purchase confirmations. The name, message, and NORAD ID tied to your purchase are stored and displayed publicly as part of the registry — that's the product. Don't put anything in the public fields (name, message) that you wouldn't want visible forever, because it will be.

7. Contact

Questions, removal requests, or refund requests: slapmyarsehag@gmail.com